Toilet Learning
What, Why and How? - A guide for Parents
Toilet learning is not something we do to a child, or ask the child to do to please us. Using the toilet is something a child wants to do when they are ready. It is a natural process that is best led completely by the child with our support.
– Janet Lansbury
Every child is different and will use the toilet when they are ready. Toilet Learning may take longer but will be less stressful and more permanent. Toilet training requires children’s brains to academically create neural pathways that are being created from the adults actions. All research now shows that children learn by DOING. Hence why seeing the progression from nappies to independent toileting as a LEARNING process allows adults to be lead by the child, resulting in more solid, meaningful and permanent results.
A Toilet Learning Journey:
The key to helping with toileting at any age or stage is for the adults to be as calm and as matter of fact as they can, with neither a positive or negative response. We must keep in mind that accidents are just that!
We need to support children’s developmentally appropriate interest in toilet learning by following their cues, and its really important to see many readiness factors, not just one or two. Also to take slow steps, there is no need to rush to the end goal.
Set your child up for success. Once they are wearing pull ups, make sure to dress them in clothing they can easily and independently take on and off. This is not the life season for overalls and body suits!
Offering the toilet at consistent moments i.e. first thing in the morning, before you leave the house, right before bed, AND having no pressure to use/sit/try. If they say they don’t want too, its important to hear and respect this as it builds up their autonomy in their toilet learning journey.
Keep using pull ups until your child asks to wear underwear. this eliminates the pressure to ‘stay dry’
If your child moves to underwear and has lots of accidents (3 or 4 in a day) confidently let them know their body or brain isn't quite ready yet, and they will use a pull up again until next time i.e. “your body isn’t ready to wear undies yet, here is a pull up to keep your clothes dry, you can try again with undies tomorrow/in a few days.
Wearing a pull up doesn’t mean the cant/wont continue to use the toilet, but does mean the focus is on successful times, not wet clothes and laundry.